May Your Days Be Gold
by lucklessdreamer
Summary: A series of four interlocking drabbles about how Puck and Rachel's relationship changes.
1. everything's going to be alright

Author's note: Sometimes inspiration sparks from the oddest places. This was inspired by my wall art. Seriously. Each chapter is named after a saying that is framed on my wall. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy my wall art.

---

_everything's going to be alright_

It begins the day his daughter is born.

Quinn goes into labor while they are rehearsing for regionals. Mr. Schuester drives Quinn, Finn, and Puck to the hospital like a maniac. The others follow closely behind.

They all crowd around Quinn's hospital bed until she screams at them to get the hell out. She forces Mr. Schuester and Finn to stay with her. Puck gets to stay by default.

Quinn is in labor for 18 hours.

They miss regionals.

But when they file back into Quinn's room, 18 hours later, and there is a wiggling baby wrapped in pink in her arms, regionals is the furthest thing from their minds.

They all take turns holding the baby. Each receive strict instructions from Quinn on how to hold the baby and threats from Puck that if they drop his daughter and make her retarded, he'll kick their ass. Mr. Schuester helps them all before returning the baby to Quinn.

Tina asks what the baby's name is, but Quinn chooses then to announce that she's chosen the perfect adoptive parents for the baby. They've decided to name her Adeline.

Finn announces that it's a shame they didn't use Drizzle.

It lightens the mood and they all laugh. Everyone laughs save Puck. He remains silent and sullen in the corner of the small hospital room.

He watches as even an exhausted Quinn laughs and as Finn sets himself easily at her side, doting over her and the baby like his girlfriend never slept with his best friend and like he was never made to believe the baby in her arms was his.

Finn knows the truth. He has since they won sectionals. And although he was hurt and angered by his girlfriend's infidelity and his best friend's betrayal, he has since forgiven them both. He even took Quinn back (after a short tryst with Rachel that neither mention) and remained firmly at her side during the remaining months of her pregnancy.

And by her side is where he will remain. Much to Rachel and Puck's dismay.

"Alright, guys, Quinn has had a long day. I think we should let her get some rest. You can all come back to visit her tomorrow," Mr. Schuester instructs.

"Will the baby still be here?" Artie asks innocently.

"No," Quinn whispers, clutching the baby, little Adeline, a little closer.

"But you can still come see Quinn. She has to stay in the hospital for another day. I'm sure she'd enjoy the company," Mr. Schuester tells them.

They all tell Quinn and the baby goodbye. They linger over the baby in her arms and force sad smiles upon their faces before obediently following their teacher out of her room.

Puck and Finn remain.

---

Puck leaves when the nurse comes to take the baby back to the nursery and he cant stomach Finn fawning over Quinn any longer.

He marches down the hall of the hospital with purpose, though he has no destination in mind.

"You okay?" a small voice asks and it stops him in his tracks.

He spins around to find Rachel. She pushes herself away from the wall she was leaning against, obviously anticipating him, and steps carefully towards him.

"I thought you left."

She shakes her head. "I figured you might need a friend." She sees he's apprehensive, so she continues quickly, "It's just that Quinn has Finn to support her through this. And as much as she might like to believe this is only happening to her because she's the one who carried the baby for nine months and just had to give birth to her, I know that this is happening to you too. Adeline…" She catches herself when she sees Puck wince at the mention of the baby's name. "The baby is as much yours as she is Quinn's. You're giving your child up and I imagine this is the hardest thing you will ever have to do. You need _someone _to be there for you during this, Noah."

"Someone like you?" he snaps.

She shrugs her shoulders and looks around. "Looks like I'm all you've got."

---

With a little more coaxing, Puck finally accepts Rachel's outstretched hand and with a promise that she'll do whatever he needs, he drags her through the halls of the hospital to the nursery.

They stand at the window and watch the babies inside.

"Which one is she?" Rachel asks.

"Right there," he tells her, pointing out his daughter. "I think she looks like me," he smirks proudly.

"She _is _beautiful," Rachel agrees and when she glances over at the boy beside her who's smirking, she blushes and turns her eyes back to the baby.

They stand in silence for a long, long time, jut staring at the baby wiggle and squirm in her bassinet.

Their hands are intertwined the entire time.

"Do you think it's possible to miss someone you don't even know?" Puck asks suddenly.

"Yes," she answers quickly. "I miss my mother and I never knew her," Rachel admits (something she's never admitted to another human being).

"I'm going to miss her," Puck tells her, but he cant bring himself to look at her as he does so keeps his eyes on the baby. "She's just a tiny little human who I don't even know and I'm going to miss her."

"You know her. She's your daughter," she breathes. She wraps an arm around his waist and leans into him.

"I hope, maybe, one day, she'll miss me, too. Even though she'll never know me." He finally looks at Rachel. "That's a pretty fucking selfish thing to hope for, isn't it?"

"Not all," she tells him (and she doesn't even reprimand him for his crass language because of the sad, vulnerable look in his eyes). "It's not selfish. It's honest."

"I love her," he chokes out.

He pulls away from Rachel so quickly that it causes her to stumble.

She tries not to be hurt by the way he pulled away and remains steady as she follows after him once more.

Really, he just didn't want her to see him wipe away the tears that escaped his eyes.

---

Rachel refuses to leave Puck alone and he's too tired to fight her, so he allows her to climb into his truck when he finally leaves the hospital.

He offers to take her home, but she insists she wants to stay with him.

They drive around Lima for hours in silence.

Puck's eyes remain focused on the empty roads that stretch out before him and his hands remain clenched tightly around the steering wheel.

Rachel watches him closely. Waiting for a crack in his tough exterior so that she can swoop in and salve his pain.

It doesn't come, even after hours of driving aimlessly, so her eyelids begin to droop and she finds it hard to concentrate on much of anything save the gentle rocking of his truck and the flash of streetlamps as they speed by.

---

"Rachel, wake up," Puck urges, nudging her.

Rachel wakes with a start. She's disoriented at first, blinking hard until she finally focuses on Puck. They are still in his truck, but it is not dark like she remembers.

It's beginning to glow.

"What time is it?"

"Five-thirty," he answers.

She looks around her and doesn't recognize her surroundings. They are perched on a hill somewhere. Below her she sees a town in the distance and just behind that, the sun is beginning to peak out.

"Sorry I fell asleep on you," she tells him sheepishly.

"It's okay," he shrugs. "I just wanted to think."

"Oh." She suddenly feels like an idiot for forcing herself on him.

"But, thank you for being here," he tells her quickly seeing the look that flashes across her face. He doesn't know what propels him to reassure her. Or to even be nice to her.

Maybe fatherhood has softened him.

"You know, just in case. And thank you for… understanding." Words, especially words that actually have meaning attached to them, are hard for Puck and so he struggles in telling these things to Rachel.

Which is why he usually ends up screwing things up. Like when he says, "And thanks for not being your annoying self and yapping the entire night" he knows he's messed it all up.

Rachel doesn't exactly know how to respond to that.

"Wait, that's not what I meant," he sighs. "I'm sorry."

Now he's certain that fatherhood has softened him if he's apologizing. To Rachel of all people.

"It's okay. You're hurting right now." She slides across the seat, closer to him. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

He looks away and shakes his head.

She maneuvers around the gear shift and moves even closer to him. "Noah," she calls softly as she places her hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look her in eyes. "I'm here. Tell me what I can do."

Her soft, rasping words, her dark, shining eyes, and the insistent touch of her hands all conspire and cause Puck to break down into sobs. The tears pour out quickly and there is no stopping them. So, he doesn't fight against it, and instead just falls against Rachel.

She supports his weight easily. She wraps her arms around him and embraces him as tightly as she thinks he can stand. Her body shakes with his.

His head is buried in the crook of her neck, his hands twisting in her hair, and so she presses her lips to his ear and whispers, "Everything's going to be alright."

He doesn't believe her.

So, he puts his head in her lap as she lazily strokes his head and sings every sad song she can think of.

It's a little easier to believe her as her pretty voice washes over him and sleep begins to pull him under.

The last thing he remembers is the touch of Rachel's hand and the brightness of the sun as it shines over them.

---


	2. may your days be gold

Author's Note: I use way too many parentheses. It's a character flaw (no, really, it is). And also, thank you so much for all of your reviews - they really do mean a lot to me and inspire me to write faster.

_may your days be gold_

School ends.

Summer comes.

The day Puck gave up his daughter starts to become a memory. It fades a little bit more with each passing day. Especially when he's not forced to see Quinn every day at school as a reminder.

He wastes away the endless days of summer by returning to his pool cleaning business. But this summer, instead of romancing cougars, he entertains Rachel Berry.

She follows him from house-to-house every day that she doesn't have a prior engagement (she never does). She sits on the edge of the above-ground pools while he cleans them and she talks incessantly about something he doesn't give a damn about.

Sometimes he throws her into the water.

That shuts her up.

(Most times).

He just has to hear about it nonstop for the next three days.

But it's worth it.

(Most times).

Puck isn't exactly sure how it all started. One day she was just there. And the next day. And the next. Until it became normal.

But like most things with Rachel Berry, it's simply inexplicable.

The cougars don't really bother him when Rachel's around. Puck doesn't really care.

He eventually discovers he actually enjoys Rachel's company. It comes as a surprise.

One day he finds himself stopping what he's doing (while ignoring Tommy Jenkins' mom as she prances around in a bikini) to listen to what Rachel's saying. And it's something dumb that she's always going on about, but he's actually interested, god help him.

That is how they become friends.

---

After an entire day of cleaning pools, Rachel suggests they get ice cream.

They walk in the dwindling light of the day to the Dairy Queen. She orders a small vanilla cone with sprinkles. He orders the biggest twist cone they have. They sit on the top of a picnic table out front and eat in silence.

"Do you talk to Quinn at all?" she asks, peeking over at him.

"Not really, no," he says gruffly. "She's too busy with Finn."

"Yeah," Rachel sighs sadly.

"Is that why you hang out with me all the freaking time? Because Finn's with Quinn?"

"Is it so hard to believe that I simply enjoy your company?" she snaps.

"Yes. I'm an ass."

She smiles at him, but then says, "Finn has made it painfully clear that he only wants to be with Quinn."

"What happened between you two?"

"Nothing worth mentioning. Cliff Notes version? He loves her, not me."

Puck isn't sure what the hell 'Cliff Notes' are but he does like how they cause her shorten her stories into five words - a new record for her. Or maybe that's the sadness. The part of him that isn't an ass is curious to hear the whole story and know where all the sadness comes from.

He doesn't ask her to elaborate - he wants to try to maintain the appearance of an uncaring ass - but he does ask her, "Do you love him?"

She shrugs. "I don't think I know what love is. I know it shouldn't hurt as much as it did with Finn."

When they have finished their ice cream, he leaps from the picnic table. "Come on, I'll walk you home."

"Thanks," she says sheepishly. Normally, she'd comment on how chivalrous he's being and what a gentleman he's becoming, but she keeps her mouth shut because she thinks he'd run off and leave her if she did.

"Wait." He reaches out and presses two fingers against the corner of her mouth and just as her breath hitches in her throat and her heart begins to accelerate at his nearness, he draws them away. "You had a sprinkle there," he explains holding up his fingers to show her the multicolored sprinkles sticking to them.

"Oh… thanks."

He dips his fingers into his mouth and eats the wayward sprinkles, grinning at her as she watches him.

"Hey Noah?" she asks as they begin the walk towards her house. "Do you still love Quinn?"

He shrugs. "I don't think I ever really did. Love shouldn't hurt that much."

She smiles and they continue on in silence.

---

"Most normal people don't count down the days until school starts," Puck tells Rachel one day after she has rattled off the number of days remaining until school begins and there is actual excitement in her voice.

Puck feels that part of being friends with Rachel is to help make her more normal, less insane. That starts with helping her to act like a human being.

Next step is acting like a teenager. But he'll cross that bridge when they get there. Puck doesn't like to think too far into the future.

"I'm excited to get back to glee. I miss singing with everyone. I miss everyone."

Puck and Rachel have kept to themselves over the summer. Everyone in the glee club went in separate directions after school ended and although they bump into a club member from time-to-time, it's mostly just the two of them.

They like it that way.

Puck prefers it that way.

He drops down on the edge of the pool he's cleaning to sit beside Rachel. He lets his feet dangle in the water, just like hers are. "Why?"

"Because they're my friends."

"Rachel, those people aren't your friends."

The shocked look on her face almost makes him regret saying it.

"Yes they are," she defends.

"No, they're not. Have you even seen any of them this summer?"

"Yes…"

"I mean, have you hung out with any of them?" He already knows the answer to this as he can account for most of her days (they're spent with him). "They're not your friends. They take advantage of you because you've got a killer voice. They walk all over you and treat you like crap. They'd probably throw you under a bus if you couldn't sing."

"That's a really cruel thing to say, Noah."

"But it's true. Look, I'm not saying this to be an ass, but Rach, they don't like you. But who needs 'em? They're all idiots, anyways. You don't want to be friends with losers."

"_I'm_ a loser," she reminds him.

"But you're better than them."

"Does that mean you're my friend?"

He pushes her into the pool instead of answering her.

"Noah!" she screams, but she's laughing too hard to sound mad.

He dives in after her and later, after he easily jumps out of the pool, he extends his hand to her and helps her out.

She doesn't need the words, she has her answer.

She still vows not to speak to him for rest of the day for throwing her into the pool while she was wearing her favorite shirt.

That lasts fifteen minutes.

It's a new record.

---

"Have you slept with her before?" Rachel asks Puck abruptly one afternoon after Mrs. Harrison brings them lemonade and gives Rachel a dirty look.

"Yes," he answers unabashedly, but the look that comes over Rachel's face when he does so makes him think he should have lied.

"Oh." She sets down her lemonade and looks down at her lap.

"It's not a big deal. She didn't matter to me. Just like I didn't matter to her - she's just lonely because her husband doesn't love her."

"Sex should always be a big deal," Rachel insists sternly. "The ramifications - both emotional and physical - are far too great for it not to be a big deal. I don't know how you can treat it so… carelessly."

He opens his mouth to speak, but she continues, "Furthermore, I'd think that after you lived through the consequences of your actions - getting Quinn pregnant and having to give up the baby - you would be apt to treat sex a bit more meaningfully. Or at the very least, use more discretion."

"Yeah. Says the virgin," he grumbles.

"That's very presumptuous," she accuses her eyes flashing angrily.

"Oh, come on," he laughs.

"What? Don't you think anyone would want to have sex with me?" She means to say it with an edge, but it comes off more hopeless than anything.

And Puck realizes he's fucked up again, so he sets his own glass of lemonade down and comes to sit beside her on the edge of the pool. "It's not that. You said it yourself - sex should be a big deal and I don't think you'd do it with just anyone."

"I wouldn't," she maintains.

"So, obviously, you're still a virgin. Unless… you and Finn?" He's not entirely sure why the thought of Rachel with Finn makes his stomach coil tightly, but he tries to ignore it.

"No, we didn't" she whispers and he thinks he almost hears a tinge of regret in her voice and that makes the feeling in his gut even worse. "He was still in love with Quinn. That seems to be my problem with boys - they're all in love with Quinn."

"Yeah, well, my problem seems to be that most girls are in love with Finn."

They both laugh - because there's nothing left to do - but they stop when they catch the other's eye and the hot summer air seems to thicken between them.

"For what it's worth, I'd totally have sex with you," Puck tells her.

It's Rachel that pushes Puck into the pool.

---

"Want to go to the lake?" Puck asks Rachel one evening when they have nothing better to do.

She agrees and Puck drives them to a part of the lake he knows wont be populated. A dark, secluded spot that tall trees circle and the moon shimmers down on.

Rachel would almost think it's because he doesn't want people to see them together, but instead, she chooses to believe it's simply because he wants to be alone with her.

At the lake, they sit at the water's edge and talk.

Though they are together every single day, it is safer to speak in the darkness of the things they can not say by the harsh light of day.

Rachel talks about glee - about the songs she hopes to sing and with Puck's urging, how she secretly hopes she gets all the solos over Mercedes. She talks about her fathers and the mother she never knew. She talks about her fears of never making it big and being stuck in Lima.

Puck talks about the upcoming football season. He talks about his friendship with Finn. He talks about his daughter - how he wonders how she's doing or if she likes her new parents.

But when it gets too serious and too real, he picks himself up from the sand and begins to pluck off his clothes.

"What on earth are you doing?" she screeches. She feigns horror, but she's giggling, too.

He looks back at her, over her shoulder, and smirks that devilish smirk of his. "Skinny dipping. You wanna?"

"No, I most certainly do not. I am not skinny dipping with you, Noah Puckerman."

"Oh, come on," he cajoles.

"Absolutely not. For one, it's totally and completely illegal. Do you have any idea what getting arrested would do to my career? Or worse, if the press found out about it?! Or my dads! And two, I am not taking my clothes off."

He's down to his boxers when he turns around and strides back to her. He takes her hands and easily tugs her off the ground. "Come on, Rachel, live a little."

"I do not consider skinny dipping 'living,'" she informs him dryly.

"I guess I'm just going to have to throw you in with your clothes on," he tells her and before she has time to protest, he's picking her up and tossing her over his shoulder, running towards the lake.

"Noah! You put me down this instant!" she demands. "Noah, I'm serious!" But she's laughing so hard as she attempts to struggle against him that she doesn't sound serious at all.

"Nope, I just cant do that."

"Wait, wait, wait," she says breathlessly. "I'll do it! Just put me down."

He hesitates, disbelieving at first, but finally, he sets her down. He raises an eyebrow and waits for her to undress.

"You cant look!" she warns.

He rolls his eyes, but relents, "Fine."

Puck goes running towards the water, discarding his boxers and tossing them away before he dives into the cool water.

"Turn around and close your eyes!" she instructs once she decides he's a reasonable distance away from shore.

He obliges and once she's certain he's not going to turn back around, she undresses. She folds her clothes into a neat little pile on the sand before she wades into the water towards where Puck is waiting.

"Okay, you can turn around now," she tells him.

He does just that and practically collides with her she's so close. The water reaches her shoulders, but he has a hard time not looking down. So, he focuses all her efforts on just looking into her wide, bright eyes.

"Hi," she whispers.

"Hi."

The ends of her hair are wet and stick to her face, so he reaches out on a whim and tucks one of those damp strands of hair behind her ear. When he realizes what he's doing, he yanks his hand away.

"Don't get mad at me for what I'm about to do," he warns.

Before she can question him, she's hit with a splash of cool water.

"Noah!" she screams and fires back.

They're at war, then, using the water as their weapons. But they end up laughing so hard they finally call it a draw.

Between splashing and swimming and laughing, Rachel feels like maybe this is what living really is. She cant remember a time before this that she ever felt so alive.

Or happy.

Maybe Puck was right, she considers, skinny dipping is like living (put she'll never, ever tell him that).

"I think you have seaweed in your hair," Puck tells her, laughing.

Before she can have a heart attack or before he goes deaf from her screaming at him to get it out, he pulls on her elbow, dragging her into him so that he can dislodge the piece of seaweed from her hair.

"There," he tells her, "All gone."

But he's still holding onto her and their bodies are dangerously close. He cant let her go when she's looking at him like he's some kind of hero for saving her from the big, bad piece of seaweed.

"Thanks," she sighs and she finds it impossible to pull away from him. Especially when the moonlight reflects off the water and the impossible strands of gold in his eyes stand out so vibrantly.

"Rachel…" Her name falls from his lips and neither are sure if it's a warning or an invitation.

Their bodies gravitate towards one another, just like an unavoidable force of nature, and their lips easily come together. His hands fist in her wet hair while hers grip his slippery back. When his tongue sweeps into her mouth, she moans and falls against him.

Their lungs eventually scream for air and when they pull away, they meet each other's eyes easily. They share a smile before they meet in the middle again.

Things are different after that.

---

Normally, Puck would complain about the lack of action he's seen all summer.

When Rachel had begun to follow him around at the onset of the summer, the cougars kept their distance because they (wrongfully) assumed she was his girlfriend. So, he never even had a chance to be alone with the hopeless, lonely housewives of Lima.

And he cant even remember seeing a high school girl all summer. His days are spent cleaning pools while Rachel lounges beside him while his nights are spent with her doing one of two things: driving around Lima or going to the lake.

Though after their infamous night skinny dipping at the lake, whatever they do, they usually end up making out. Either in his truck or on the shore of the lake.

If Puck thinks about it - he tries not to, however - he cant believe how different last summer was compared to the current one. It was last summer he had tapped into his power of seducing cougars and this summer he hasn't even touched a hot mom.

But he cant say he misses how easy the chase of a desperate cougar is.

Not when he has Rachel to waste days away with. She's far more interesting than any cougar (even if she's a thousand times more difficult).

Besides, Rachel lets him touch her boobs now.

---

Inevitably, the golden days of summer begin to draw to an end.

They spend their last few days of sweet, sweet freedom doing what they've done all summer: cleaning pools, driving around Lima, and swimming at the lake.

The end is just punctuated with a lot more kissing than the beginning.

Puck thinks it's a far better way to spend their time.

The last night of summer is spent at the lake, watching the sun set. Rachel insists on being home early to go to bed. She needs a solid seven-and-a-half hours of sleep to feel refreshed enough to start the new school year.

Puck plans on playing video games all night before rolling out of bed in the morning and dragging himself to school. Against his will, he might add.

Rachel has her school clothes picked out, her alarm clock set, and actually talks with excitement about the coming school year.

The differences between them that they constantly stumble over never cease to amaze them.

And yet, they are able to come together in so many ways - most that don't make any sense - that none of their differences seem to matter.

"Are things going to change tomorrow?" Rachel asks as she leans back against Puck's chest, their fingers interlaced as they rest against her stomach.

"We wont be able to sleep in."

"That's not what I mean."

He knows what she means. He just doesn't know how to answer her.

Because they both know things will change as soon as they step through the doors of McKinley High. They cannot remain in the bubble they have been in all summer, away from everyone else, they must face the world tomorrow.

They have refused to define what they are to one another. Friends doesn't seem like enough. A couple seems like too much. And Rachel would never consent to a crass term like friends-with-benefits to define their relationship.

They are simply better versions of themselves when they are together. They bring out the best in each other. He shows his vulnerable side - that soft, sweet side of him. She shows her less insane side - that quiet, soulful side of her.

What they have formed together works. But it only works inside their own little bubble, where they are not threatened by the pressures of their classmates. By football players and cheerleaders and glee club outcasts.

"If you're too embarrassed to tell people we spent the summer together… I'd understand," she says softly.

"That's what I hate about you, Rachel!" Puck fires, untangling himself from her and leaping to his feet.

"What?" she demands.

"You're so willing to let people disappoint you. That's why you think everyone in the glee club is your friend - you give them the right to treat you like crap and let you down. You expect it from them, so it doesn't bother you like it should when it happens."

She picks herself up from the ground and carefully walks towards him. "It's easier than being hurt all the time."

"But you still do get hurt. That's the thing. And I really wish you'd get pissed about it. Because you deserve to be pissed about it."

She studies him carefully, cocking her head to the side, and narrowing her eyes as he stands against the lowering sun. She notices he grows uncomfortable under her gaze, so finally she says, "Is this your subtle way of telling me that you're going to disappoint me?"

He drops his head, unable to meet her eyes. "You always knew that I would. I'm a jerk. That's what I do."

"No," she says forcefully, stepping even closer to him. She rests her hands on his chest and looks into his eyes. "You're more than that. You're kind, sweet, smart, funny. You're a good friend, Noah." She drops her hands. "But I understand that you have a badass reputation to uphold at school."

"I really feel like an ass."

The sun is just beginning to touch the horizon, behind the lake, and it causes the earth to glow. Rachel thinks that if her life was a move (and sometimes she imagines it is, the underdog starlet always gets the boy) this scene would be poetic enough for a breakup.

"We both knew it couldn't last," she sighs sadly, but she almost doesn't believe her own words as she says them.

He really doesn't believe them the way she says them.

"We're just not meant to be. We've always known that."

"Still kinda sucks, doesn't it?"

"Well, we cant let the entire school know you're with a loser like me."

Puck steps towards her, invading all of her space, and places his hand on the side of her cheek. Her breath hitches and her heart races as she looks into his eyes.

"You're a lot of things, Rachel - insane, demanding, high-maintenance, idiotic, smart, forgiving, beautiful, talented, amazing - but you're not a loser."

Before she can catch her breath, he's pressing his lips against hers and kissing her just like he always does. But they both know it'll be their last, so they cling to one another just a little bit longer.

They stand together and watch as the sun continues to disappear into the lake, taking the golden glow of summer with it, until it is finally gone and all it leaves behind is darkness.

When it's over, they go their separate ways.


	3. give me crazy love

Author's note: Sorry for the delay. I had trouble with this chapter - Puck and Rachel are tough for me. So is writing for characters who are still in high school. Apparently I am older than I thought. Anyways, thanks for all of the reviews. They make my life. No, seriously, I don't have a whole lot going for me right now, so they totally do.

---

_give me crazy love_

Rachel has always loved the first day of school. The promise it brings. The hope of endless possibilities. The chance to start fresh. The opportunity to talk her dads into buying her a new wardrobe.

As Rachel walks down the halls of McKinley High on the first day of her junior year, with her new notebooks and her new plaid skirt, she doesn't feel that same optimism she normally does.

She feels like a different girl than the one she was the last time she walked down these halls. Her summer with Puck has left her transformed.

It has left her older, wiser, sadder.

And she feels all of those things acutely when she catches sight of Puck. He is headed in her direction, surrounded by football player friends and trailed by giggling cheerleaders. He doesn't even pause when he passes her.

That is how she knows whatever they had has come to an end.

---

An entire day passes without so much as glance from Puck, despite them sharing three classes together.

When the bell sounds, dismissing them from their final class, and Puck rushes to the door, slipping right past Rachel, she begins to believe she dreamt up their entire summer together. The warm, chlorinated water, the cool, murky water of the lake, the warmth of Puck's tanned skin beneath her hands, the feel of his lips against hers. Rachel begins to chalk it up to another well-crafted fantasy of hers.

It's either that, or Puck has just become another name on the long list of people who disappoint her. Despite his warning the night before that he would most assuredly let her down, it is still not an easy pill to swallow.

Which is why she chooses to believe the former because it's easier for her heart to handle.

---

When glee assembles for their first official meeting of the school year, Rachel sits among her fellow glee clubbers and holds her breath until Puck walks in. When he catches her eye across the room, her heart drops and she knows she did not dream up their summer - it was all real.

It makes her heart hurt.

He takes the seat furthest from her and the pain is almost unbearable.

Mr. Schuester finally joins them and calls the meeting to order. He attempts to motivate them with talk of sectionals and regionals and even nationals. He talks of the changes he'd like to make to the club this year to make them even better than the last.

Mercedes mumbles (loudly) that it'd be a nice change if Rachel stopped acting like a diva and didn't get every solo.

While Rachel's first instinct is to ignore Mercedes and remain prim and proper and unaffected in her seat, Rachel can not do that. So, she turns in her chair, her eyes narrowing on Mercedes. "I'm sorry, Mercedes, if you have something to say to me, I'd appreciate it if you said it to my face."

Mercedes looks shocked. As does the rest of the glee club. But she quickly recovers and says, "I said it would be nice if you didn't get every solo."

"I don't believe that I do," Rachel replies as curtly as possible. "I can think of numerous times last year that I didn't get a solo. Or solos that were ripped away from me and given to one of you in the interest of fairness. Of course, it wasn't fair to me. But, no one really cares about being fair to me, do they? Or being nice to me. Like you just demonstrated by saying something rude behind my back."

"Rachel," Mr. Schuester tries to cut in.

"No, Mr. Schuester, I think they should hear this." She gets out of her seat and turns to face them. "I know that none of you like me. As hard as I've tried to be your friend, I realize that's never going to happen as you all seem to harbor some unknown resentment towards me. I can live with that. But the least you can do is show some respect for your fellow teammate. Because as much as I love glee, I cant be here if you don't respect me."

"Is this where you storm out?" Kurt asks with a roll of his eyes.

"No. This is where I wait for you all to choose if you want me here."

There is silence and Rachel feels her heart begin to drop.

"She stays," Puck says gruffly. "No one here is as talented as she is."

She meets his eyes and manages a grateful smile.

"I agree," Tina says. "We need her if we have any chance of winning."

The others agree as well. Mercedes, Kurt, and Santana are slower in relenting, but they finally do and the meeting continues without incident.

Rachel is shown more respect after that.

And if she didn't know better, she'd even say they begin to become her friends.

---

After glee club disbands for the day and everyone has left, Puck makes his way to where Rachel is slowly packing up her belongings.

"Hey," he greets her softly.

She looks up from her things, surprised to see him at her side. "Hey."

"What you said today? To Mercedes? That was pretty fucking awesome."

She smirks, ignoring his crass language, and simply says, "Thanks."

"I guess you finally got pissed enough to tell someone off. It's about time."

"I guess I was just sick of giving people the right to treat me badly." She picks up her bag and looks into his eyes. "And I'm tired of people always letting me down."

He looks away.

"It was time to show people I'm not going to take it anymore. I deserve better than that. I learned that from a friend."

He looks at her again and begins to smile.

"An old friend," she adds before brushing past him.

His smile falls.

And if Puck thought he had a heart, that would be falling, too.

---

Puck quickly comes to the (somewhat-shocking) realization that he actually misses Rachel Berry.

It is hard to transition from her being a staple in his every day life to not having her at all. Days without Rachel are harder than he anticipated.

Of course, he misses the fun physical aspects of having Rachel in his day-to-day life. The way she would pounce on him if he sang her _Sweet Caroline _and the flick of her tongue would cause him to hit all the high notes. Or the way her breasts felt crushed beneath him when they went a little too far. And he misses her breathless humming when his lips moved over all the right spots along the column of her throat.

But he misses the rest of her, too. Her contagious laugh. Her ability to go on for hours about the most meaningless things in the world. And the way she can be perfectly silent and still when it means the most.

She is still present.

She's in a couple of his classes (he's not sure how many, he rarely goes) and she's in glee with him in the afternoons. But she does not speak to him or even look at him.

For her part, she ignores him.

While at one point, Puck believed that everyone in the world was one more disappointment to Rachel, he begins to think it's not even possible to disappoint her.

And Puck thinks that, really, he just let himself down by pissing away the one real friendship he ever had.

It's a bitch.

---

In between classes one day, when Puck feels the absence of Rachel a little too intensely, he finds her in the hallway and strides over to where she stands at her locker.

"Hey. You got a sec?"

She looks up at him suspiciously.

He didn't really have a purpose in mind, or a plan, which he now considers might have been a good idea because she's staring up at him so expectantly like she actually wants him to _say _something.

"Did you need something?" she finally asks him because she cant be late for biology. Her punctuality is one trait she admires most about herself, naturally.

And because she really cant handle the way he's looking down at her, causing her heart to beat in that hauntingly familiar rhythm.

Puck cant help but wince at how she annoyed she sounds with him. He opens his mouth to speak - to snap out some sarcastic comment to get back at her - but he cant seem to get the words out.

"You can borrow my history notes if you want. And English," she tells him before she turns back to her locker.

"That's not… I don't give a damn about any of that crap."

She continues to ignore him as he continues to stand beside her.

The silence continues to build and it makes him uncomfortable, especially considering the longest he's ever been in Rachel's company and she hasn't said a word is, like, 30 seconds. And the only thing he can think to say, he blurts out, "I miss you."

Rachel falters for just a moment. Her breath catches and her fingers curl into the door of her locker. She stands still for a long moment before she can look at him. And while her heart beats at a sickeningly fast rhythm that makes her want to simultaneously throw up and pass out, she says softly, "I cant. I just cant do this."

She pushes her history and English notes into his hands before she closes her locker and turns to walk away from him.

"Rachel," he calls after her.

She stops, turning her head slightly (but doesn't quite meet his eyes), she tells him quietly, "It's not suppose to hurt this much, remember?"

Puck thinks if he had a heart, it would be breaking.

The painful aching in his chest is just a coincidence.

---

When Puck sees Rachel laughing and smiling in the hallway with Brian Douglas, he believes that his initial reaction of wanting to punch Brian in his stupid face has to do with the fact that he hates Brian for calling him a sissy in the eighth grade and not a single thing to do with Rachel.

Even if she's doing that stupid hair-flipping thing and touching Brian's shoulder in an attempt to do something normal people call flirting. He's not sure if Rachel's version is similar to a normal teenager's, but it seems to do the trick because Brian is practically drooling.

But Puck would not call what he feels jealousy. Not even when his hands curl into fists at his sides when he watches Brian watch Rachel bounce away.

Not even when he's pushing Brian against the lockers and threatening him within an inch of his life if he so much as looks at Rachel, would Puck call what he feels jealously.

---

Puck's first reaction is to act out. To retaliate against what he feels.

It is in his nature to grab the easiest and closest cheerleader and make her beg to be with him until Rachel Berry becomes a bad memory.

But when he takes Summer Phillips behind the bleachers during math, he cant get the taste of Rachel out of his mouth.

So, Puck stalks back to class and when he spots Rachel seated primly beside Brian Douglas, he decides to employ a new tactic.

Instead of taking his usual seat in the back corner, he plops himself down beside Rachel in the front row. She glances over at him nervously, but quickly returns her attention to Mrs. Cole.

All he can do is smile while he watches her fidget for the rest of the class.

---

"It's not going to work, ya know," Puck breathes into Rachel's ear after math class one afternoon, after she refused his offer to partner on a project and turned to Brian instead.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she maintains.

"Trying to make me jealous with that pussy, Brian? It's not going to work."

Rachel shrugs. "That wasn't my intention."

"Right. Because always you go for dumb jocks just like him," he drawls sarcastically.

She gives him a meaningful look and he's quick to remember Finn.

"Whatever. Just know, that this little act of liking Brian to make me jealous is not going to work."

"Okay," she sings as she makes her way out of the classroom.

"It's not going to work," he grumbles to himself.

But it totally is.

---

When Kurt throws a bitch fit during rehearsal one afternoon about Rachel, Puck steps up to defend her a little too quickly. He even shoves him, but when Kurt falls too easily into the drums, he realizes he might have pushed a little too hard.

"Noah!" Rachel cries.

"What?" Puck demands. "He cant treat you like that. He cant talk that way to you and get away with it."

He storms out of the choir room, fists clenched at his sides.

Rachel is torn between helping Finn pick Kurt up and running after Puck.

---

Rachel chooses Puck and finds him on the steps outside of school.

"Why do you keep doing things like that?"

"Like what?"

"Pushing Kurt around. Threatening Brian. Sticking up for me. We're not friends, remember? Those are your terms, Noah, and I'm just trying to honor them. But if you insist on breaking the rules, then…"

"Then what?"

"Then I cant pretend this summer never happened."

"What if I don't want to pretend it never happened?" he asks. But his voice is so low that he almost hopes she doesn't hear him.

But she does and she reminds him, "You do. Because this is who you need to be right now."

She descends down the steps, but he catches her wrist when she goes past him and stops her.

"What if I want to be better?"

Rachel sighs and she manages to look down at him with a smile. Albeit the saddest one he's ever seen. "Then you need to do that for yourself." She pulls her arm away. "Please. Just don't make this any harder than it already is."

He lets her walk away.

---

Puck can easily mark the three hardest days of his life on the calendar.

The first being the day his father left his mother. The second being the day he and Quinn gave their daughter away. And the third is when Quinn comes to him with an update of how their daughter is doing with her new parents and leaves him with a fucking picture of a little girl that has his eyes.

It's like rubbing salt in a wound.

A wound that only started to heal after Rachel weaved her way into his life and replaced the memories of that dark, hopeless day with bright, vibrant ones.

But now it's open and he think he feels the pain just as intensely as he did the day he was forced to give her up.

The anger builds and the only way he knows how to release it is to punch and kick and throw everything that crosses his path.

He just happens to be in the choir room when Quinn delivers this information so the plastic chairs (which he already kinda hated before this) and the instruments receive a beating.

The crash of cymbals and the crushing of a guitar vibrate within his mind and the only thing that can break through the noise is his name being screamed out repeatedly.

With a saxophone (his next victim) in his hands, he turns to find Rachel standing horrified in the doorway.

"Noah," she breathes as she carefully crosses the room to get to him.

When she is before him, she takes hold of his arm and coaxes him to lower the instrument to the ground. "Noah. What is it?"

He shows her the picture of the baby with his eyes.

She wraps herself around him, holding herself as hard as she can against him.

"It's okay," she whispers in his ear. "It's going to be okay."

Slowly, they sink to the ground among the broken pieces of his rampage. They cling to one another as they cry.

---

When Puck cant sleep, he finds himself at Rachel's house in the middle of the night with his guitar.

He sings _Just the Way You Are_ in her front yard, below her window, until she finally opens the door and stomps outside in her pajamas, her hands slung low on her hips and her eyes narrowed on him.

"My dads would like me to get rid of the cute hooligan before the neighbors call the cops," she tells him.

"Did you like it?"

She rolls her eyes and sighs because the answer is so obvious to her. "Yes. Of course. It was beautiful."

The stand across from one another in silence.

Rachel finally asks, "What are you doing here, Noah?"

"I don't know."

"Oh."

Puck finally abandons his guitar and strides towards her. "Here's the thing, Rachel. No one has been there for me like you have. After we had to give away the baby… it was you helped me get through all of that. This summer. And today. You were a good friend to me and I have been a dick to you. Because… god," he actually growls in frustration, running his hands over his face.

"Noah," she insists, pulling him back to her.

"The thing is… I know I'm an ass. I'm that way to most people. Some people stick around in spite of it. My mother, Finn… you. Most of them don't, but that's okay, because I deserve it. I treat people like shit until they cant take it anymore and I lose really good things - like Quinn and the baby. I probably don't deserve to be a dad to that baby for throwing slushies in your face and throwing Kurt into that dumpster. Just like I don't deserve you."

"That's what you think?" she asks him breathlessly. "That you don't deserve me?"

He shrugs and keeps his eyes on the grass rather than looking at her. "Despite you being absolutely insane and annoying the crap out me most of the time, yeah."

"You're an idiot," she laughs and it shocks him enough to look up at her. "If you think you don't deserve good things, you're never going to have them. And if you think you don't deserve me, well… you're wrong."

"Rachel," he sighs.

"Yes, you're a jerk and you treat people badly sometimes. And you do things to keep people away. But, look at me, I lack tact and I ramble and I probably don't express empathy very well. And I do things to keep people away."

"So…"

"So… if you don't deserve me then I don't deserve you."

He laughs nervously and rubs at the back of his head. "Come on, Rach…"

"What are you doing at my house in the middle of the night, Noah?" she asks again.

"Look, Rachel, I'm not good with the words or whatever. Not like you are. I don't know very many big ones and I usually fuck up the small ones. I just know that I miss you. I miss the way things were between us this summer. And I just want us to go back to the way things were, when they were good. Can we please do that? I know it's a lot to ask, especially because I royally fucked up, but…"

"You're wrong," she interjects. "Again."

"What?" he breathes. He takes a step back. His heart begins to freefall in the direction of the grass beneath his feet.

"You're actually really, really good with words."

Puck has just enough time to see her smirk before she's launching herself into his arms and her mouth is pressed firmly against his.

"Hey Rachel?" Puck asks, tearing his mouth from hers.

"Yeah?" She feels a little lightheaded and has to hold tight to his arms to keep herself from swaying.

"There was something else I wanted to tell you."

She feels her heart hammer in her chest, so she grips his arms a little tighter.

"Cute pajamas."

Rachel pushes him. Hard. He falls to the ground, but he's laughing as he goes.

He pulls her down with him and they're both laughing so hard that even when Rachel's fathers turn on the sprinklers, all they can do is laugh even harder.

---

Puck is quick to realize (although it does not surprise him one little bit) that they key to getting Rachel to do anything is music.

So, when he suggests that they keep their relationship - whatever it is, they haven't worked their way up to definitions just yet - on the down low, he convinces her by singing _My Girl_ about fifty times.

When he tries to get her to make out with her in his truck instead of going to first period, he sings _Wonderwall._

They spend the first two periods making out in his truck.

And when he's trying to get her to ditch history and meet him in the janitor's closet instead, only the promise of singing _I'll Be_ is enough to make her join him.

It's not even a blow to his sexual prowess that the promise of singing over whatever sexual act he has in mind to perform on her is what entices her to do things. Because when his fingers are buried deep inside of her and she's chanting his name breathlessly in his ear, he's certain he's the only thing on her mind. And not even sappy lyrics of a dumb love song can make her feel like he does when he flicks his fingers against that sensitive little bundle of nerves and his teeth scrap against her nipple.

But when her lips are wrapped tightly around his length, his hands buried in her hair, and he's screaming her name (he sang her _Sweet Caroline _- her favorite - that afternoon) he's pretty sure that he's not in control of a single thing Rachel Berry does - pretty love songs or not.

Because when she looks up at him with those big brown eyes, innocent even when she's on her knees before him, he thinks she's the one with all the power.

He doesn't mind.

Especially when her tongue swirls around his tip and he sees stars.

Gold ones.

---

They sneak around the halls of school, hiding from their classmates. They sneak around their homes, hiding from their parents.

It's reminiscent of the summer they spent in their little bubble, just the two of them.

Sometimes it's absolutely thrilling.

But sometimes it's downright tiring.

---

They are discovered making out in the empty choir room one afternoon before glee.

As Rachel sits on the piano, wrapped around Puck, they hear a collective gasp from the doorway and a mingling of, "Oh!" "Oh my god!" and "My eyes, my eyes!"

At the sight of three of their fellow glee club members - Kurt, Mercedes, and Artie - Puck tears away from Rachel and puts at least ten steps between them.

"What's going on with you guys?" Mercedes asks, looking between them,

"Nothing," Puck tells them quickly, stalking over to the corner and picking up a guitar while ignoring their eyes on him.

"Yeah, nothing," Rachel repeats as she slides down from the piano and straightens her skirt.

When she looks over at Puck and he refuses to meet her eyes, she resolves not to cry.

But when she hears him threatening Kurt, Mercedes, and Artie not to say a word to anyone, that resolution goes out the window.

---

Rachel does not speak to Puck for three days.

At one time he would consider that a reward, not a punishment. But now all he can think of is how miserable he is without her.

And when she's not a part of his life, he reverts back to his old ways. He's more apt to bully the underdogs, to throw slushies at unsuspecting freshman, and basically be an ass to anyone who gets in his way.

He'd almost admit he's happier (and nicer) when Rachel's a fixture in his life.

He'd also almost admit he's happier when he has someone who will actually listen to him moan about the problems of his day or will make him laugh by saying the craziest stuff. Someone to waste away afternoons and evenings with.

He'd almost admit that stuff.

But he's not really into sissy crap like that.

Even if he'd do just about anything to get it all back.

---

On the fourth day, the silence is too much and he storms after Rachel in the parking lot and catches her before she can slip into her car.

"Are you ever going to talk to me again?" he demands. He does so indignantly, like he has a right to be mad. He knows he doesn't, but he's hoping that maybe he can trick her into thinking he does.

"I don't know, Noah. Are you ever going to be okay with being with me?"

"That's not what this is about."

"No? Because I was under the impression that you didn't want anyone to know about our relationship, such as it is. And if you don't want people to know we're, well… whatever we are, then maybe we shouldn't be together at all."

"Is that really what you want?"

"No," she admits in a whisper. "But I cant keep doing this. It hurts too much."

"And it's not suppose to hurt," he says softly.

"I don't know. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it is suppose to hurt. Maybe that's all love is."

He looks up at her in surprise and he means to tell her something, but she looks away, and he cant seem to remember what it is.

"Rachel," he breathes. "I want to be with you."

"Just not in front of everyone else," she reminds him. "And that's okay. I understand that you have a certain reputation you need to uphold at this school in order to survive. You need a certain defense, so you've adopted that bully, badass complex, and that means that you can never be with someone like me. Not seriously. And not in front of the entire school."

"You think you know me so well," he drawls and he means to tease her because she's nailed him on the head, really, and he doesn't want her to know.

But he's knows Rachel's not stupid.

"And you know, a romance with a high school bad boy isn't really in my plan," she quips as she falls easily into that guarded Rachel-Berry-thing she does so well. She's that driven girl with no heart once again. "You're only going to deter me from what I really want, so it's best if we end things now."

"You're breaking up with me again?"

She steps around him and opens her car door. "Don't worry," she tells him as she slides into the car. "I wont tell."

---

Puck decides the only way to get Rachel back is to take a page from her book.

He needs a plan.

A good one.

The only thing is, he's more of a wing-it type of guy than a guy who makes plans.

So, he decides that his plan will involve music and that's as far as he gets. Because plans aren't really his thing.

He just hopes the rest comes to him when he's before Rachel. And the rest of the school because that's the only other part of his plan he figures out.

He'll put it all into action during their performance for the entire school.

Sure, it's sappy and cheesy and it's been done about a thousand times in every stupid teenage chick flick Rachel's ever forced him to watch.

But he thinks it's just crazy enough to get her back.

---

Puck pleads his case to Mr. Schuester who allows him to put his plan into action during their assembly for the entire school.

While the other glee clubbers wait in the wings of the stage while Mr. Schuester is announcing them to those crammed inside the theatre, Puck picks up his guitar and walks onto center stage. He ignores the calls from his teammates that it's not time yet.

Mr. Schue steps aside, letting Puck takes his place in the middle of the stage and looks out at the questioning (and rather unhappy) faces of his classmates, he think he should have had a better plan than this.

"Uh. This is for, um…" he starts uneasily, but he glances stage left and spies Rachel's questioning face and the words come easier. "This is for someone who I hurt. A lot. This is my… apology, I guess."

And so he picks up his guitar and executes the one part of this plan he had, well, planned, and sings _Maybe I'm Amazed_ to Rachel who still stands stage left.

But her face morphs from surprise to awe as she watches him sing. Her hand slowly moves from her mouth to her heart.

When he is finished and has stepped away from the microphone, it is only the cheers of the audience that make him tear his eyes away from Rachel.

He starts to make his way off stage, but he is blind-sided by Rachel running at him and throwing herself into his arms. He drops his guitar but catches her.

He knows that although they are not on center stage, that everyone can still see them, the glee club included.

"Did you mean it?" she asks and she sounds breathless.

"Yeah, I meant it."

"That's probably the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me, Noah."

"I was afraid of that," he smirks. "Cause I'm going to have to do something even better…"

She looks at him questioningly but before she can put it into words, his hands are in her hair and he's tipping her back as he covers her mouth with his.

They hear the shocked gasps of their schoolmates in the background, but it does not deter them.

"The thing is, Rachel," he begins to tell her once he tears his mouth from hers, "Damn, don't you already know?"

But she looks at him with those big brown, innocent eyes like she has no clue.

(He knows she does).

"I love you, okay? I love you. And I'm just as freaking crazy as you are to do something like that - like this! So, there. I love you. Happy?"

"Very," she sighs, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Aren't you going to say it back?"

She arches an eyebrow and looks at him with a gleam in her eye. "But don't you already know?"

"Oy. I must be in love if I'm willing to put up with you."

Mr. Schuester tries to salvage their assembly and ushers the rest of glee club on stage, making them push past the couple where they stand. And then he threatens Puck and Rachel to take their places as well.

"Hey, Noah?" Rachel whispers as they take their places on stage beside one another.

"Yeah?"

"Does this mean I'm your girlfriend?"

"Shut up, Rachel."

He shoves her, but catches her before she can fall.


	4. let's go on this way

_let's go on this way_

Their relationship is one that is built on a type of honesty.

They know who the other is - faults and all - and accept them regardless. _Love_ them regardless.

They are opposites in many ways.

He's the popular boy with (seemingly) no ambition that attracts girls like a magnet. She's the outcast, driven and determined, that repels people without even trying.

It's because of their differences, they fight. Constantly.

But it is because of the way they are so closely matched (same stubbornness, same battle wounds, similar cracks in their hearts) that all of the fighting doesn't matter - they come back together time and time again.

---

Puck believes most of their fights begin because she is annoying. And unmanageable.

And also, because she refuses to put out. If he's told her once, he's told her a thousand times, getting laid is the best way to be less uptight.

Rachel believes most of their fights begin because he is obnoxious. And cocky.

And also, because he says the most vulgar things to try to entice her to sleep with him. If she's told him once, she's told him a thousand times, profanity is not the way to get her into bed.

---

For nearly every asshole thing he does, Rachel forgives him.

He says the meanest things to her to lash out. He says the crudest things to her to push her away when he thinks she gets a little too close. And yes, he can act like a complete and utter jerk.

But he also does the sweetest things to make up for all of the bad things. Like plays guitar to any stupid pop song she wants to practice. Or watches her favorite musicals with her. Or holds her hand in the hallways. Or defends her when some other asshole is pushing her around or teasing her.

It's because of those things, she sticks by him. Asshole and all.

Because he may not be perfect, but he's _hers_.

And because she's certainly not perfect either and he still wants to be with her.

---

By January, they've been dating for five months.

No one thought they would last, so they surprise everyone, when they still show up to school hand-in-hand five months later.

To celebrate their anniversary (and triumph!) Rachel bakes Puck cupcakes. Decorated with pink icing and red heart candies.

"What's this for?" he asks when she pops up at his locker, the tray of cupcakes in her hands. "Is it my birthday?"

She rolls her eyes. "Your birthday is in August, Noah," she deadpans.

"Right. It's not… your birthday is it?"

"Are you serious. I cannot believe you don't know what today is." The whine in her voice alerts Puck to the fact that he's either going to get a lecture or they're going to get into a fight - or both. "It's our anniversary."

His brow furrows. "Of what?"

Her eyes widen and she literally gasps. Puck thinks she's dramatic enough to make a damn good actress (he'd never tell her that, though, it would go straight to her head and he'd never hear the end of it).

"We've been dating - officially - for five whole months. I absolutely cannot believe you forgot." She pauses and reconsiders. "Actually. I can. You're such an insensitive jerk, Noah Puckerman."

She pushes the tray into his hands and darts down the hallway to class.

He thinks he saw tears in her eyes. _Fuck._

_---_

Rachel doesn't talk to him for the rest of the day and that's how he knows she's really upset.

At glee, when she's forced to breathe the same air as him, he tries to talk to her, but she ignores him easily enough.

So, he sings to her the kind of sappy song he knows she loves.

But, when he's finished, and she _still_ doesn't talk to him, he knows he's screwed.

---

After practice, he has to race after her and manages to catch her in the parking lot. He grabs her wrist and spins her towards him.

"I'm sorry, okay?" he tells her quickly. "I forgot and I'm sorry."

Much to his surprise, her lips curve up into a broad smile and she throws her arms around him. "That's all I wanted to hear," she tells him, her breath warm against his neck.

Puck realizes, in that moment, that Rachel Berry will always be a mystery to him.

---

"Noah," Rachel says to him one afternoon in that tone of voice that makes him know she's about to ask for something he wont want to give her.

He sighs, heavily. "What now?"

"The Valentine's Day dance is coming up…"

"No. Absolutely not. I do not do dances, Rachel. Not even for you."

"Please?" she begs, jutting her bottom lip out.

"No," he tells her again, resolute.

He's sitting on the edge of her bed, so she straddles his lap and loops her arms around his neck. "Pretty please?"

"No amount of cockteasing is going to get me to agree to go to some lame dance with you."

She scraps her fingers at the back of his neck and looks down at his shoulder instead of his eyes. "It's just that I was thinking… We've been together for nearly six months and Valentine's Day would be the perfect day to consummate our relationship."

He quirks up an eyebrow. "Consummate? Like do it? Finally?"

She bites her lips and nods.

Puck laughs and runs his hands down her sides, making her shiver. "Baby, I'll do you right now if you want. We don't have to go to some lame dance."

"Noah!" she groans, burying her head in the crook of his shoulder.

"Sorry. I'll _consummate_ you right now."

She peeks up at him. "You're not using that word correctly," she tells him.

"Whatever."

"It's just. I want our first time to be… _perfect_."

He sighs, lacing his fingers in her. "Okay. If that's what you want."

"Does that mean you'll go to the Valentine's Day dance with me?"

He sighs again, heavier this time and rolls his eyes so she knows she's won.

Although, if he's going to be getting laid, he's the one who won this round.

But he thinks he would have said yes regardless. Because it's Rachel and she can talk him into just about anything.

He's _so_ whipped.

---

Naturally, when Brittany's parents go out of town, she throws a party.

And naturally, Puck drags Rachel to it even though she does not want to go ("High school parties are so abhorrent, Noah, really," she told him, "It's just an excuse to get drunk and hook up." "Exactly," he told her, eyes shinning. "I am not going with you. Call me when you need a designated driver." "Can't you just act like a normal teenager for once?").

It's just as horrible as Rachel assumed it would be. Crowds of familiar faces, loud, tasteless music, and the smell of alcohol permeating throughout the entire house.

Puck manages to get her to drink two beers - even though she reminds him after every sip that it tastes disgusting and is absolutely horrendous for her vocal chords.

He is not surprised that all it takes is two beers to get her shit faced. And he is happily surprised when she turns out to be a happy, very horny, drunk.

When she's downed her two beers, she yanks on his hands and pulls him up off the sofa, telling him that he has to dance with her.

She presses herself close against him, grinding slowly which is in complete defiance of the fast music thumping throughout the house.

"Rachel," he stutters, holding onto her hips to still her movement. "You got to stop that or else…"

She looks up at him with wide, wild eyes and just grins. She grinds against him again before she takes his hands and pulls him in the direction of the stairs.

They enter a bedroom and she's all over him. Grinding, kissing, her hands fumbling for her skin beneath his shirt. They've done this dance a hundred times, but there is something more insistent about her actions.

Rachel plops down onto the bed ungracefully (the alcohol has thrown her off balance) and easily lifts her dress up over he head, so she's in nothing more than a pair of panties.

Puck knows this is dangerous, but growls low in his throat when he sees her and pounces on her.

Their mouths are everywhere, their hands sliding anywhere they can reach, and their hips rock together in a way that makes them both moan.

When she's unbuttoned his jeans and reaches inside to grab his cock, stroking in the rhythm she knows he likes, Puck's mind becomes clearer and he knows exactly what she's planning to do.

Especially when she uses her feet to push down his jeans and boxers and she's rolling beneath him. She even gasps, "Puck."

He's so close to where he wants to be. Can feel her heat radiating from her and if he could just hook his fingers in her underwear and if he thrust his hips just slightly, he'd be _home._

But instead, he manages a ragged breath and sags down on top of her, stilling their movements completely. "Rachel," he whispers, licking at her collarbone.

"What?" she asks, her voice laced with lust.

"We can't do this."

He looks up at her, eyes blown and lips swollen and he _knows_ she wants this. But he also knows not like this or she will regret it.

"What are you talking about?" She rolls her hips and he groans. "Just do it already."

He grabs her hips to hold them in place, his fingers digging into her flesh. "No. This isn't…" He blows out a frustrated breath and doesn't know who he's turning into. "This isn't how you wanted it, remember?"

"I want you," she coos, running a hand up his chest.

And he almost gives in.

"Fuck. I want you, too. But I want you to be sober the first time you experience my fucking amazing skills."

He says it just like that, laced with profanity, because it makes him feel better about turning his hot (and horny!) girlfriend down for sex. The first time in his life he's ever done such a thing.

She looks at him confused, blinking rapidly trying to process what he's telling her, but finally it registers and she smiles. "You really do love me, don't you?"

"Shut up."

He kisses her to make sure she wont say another word and she moans when his tongue slides against hers.

"I'll still you get you off, though, baby," he tells her cockily, dipping his hand into her underwear.

---

As far as plans go, Rachel knows a good one when she sees it.

And her plan to consummate her relationship with Noah on Valentine's Day is going perfectly (save for the almost-disastrous night of Brittany's party which would have ruined everything).

She has her dress picked. Her shoes are to die for. She made Puck rent a suit and convinced him that he has to buy her a corsage - a red rose to match her dress.

Her dads will be in Columbus as per their usual Valentine's Day weekend, so she and Puck will have the entire house to themselves. She has her playlist with romantic songs perfect for the occasion, candles placed strategically around the room, and is just waiting for the day-of to buy the red rose petals she plans to scatter across her bed.

In regards to being a responsible young adult, she's been on the pill for three months and has condoms stashed in bedside table (because a girl can never be too careful, you know. She does want to end up another Quinn. You can get rid of a baby, but stretch marks and a flabby stomach are forever).

So, yes, everything is going to according to plan and Rachel just knows it's going to be perfect.

---

When the big day finally arrives, nothing goes according to plan.

Because she wakes up sick. Itchy throat, running nose, pounding head.

She manages to pull herself out of bed long enough to take a swig of cold medicine before promptly falling back asleep.

The only thing that wakes her, hours later, is the insistent knocking on the front door. She drags herself out of bed and she knows she looks like death, so she doesn't even bother looking in the mirror.

It is only when she pulls open the door and finds Puck in a suit and corsage in his hands, that she remembers.

"What the hell happened to you?" he asks, looking her over.

"I'm sick," she rasps.

She sees his face fall and she realizes he's upset because he thought he was going to finally get lucky tonight. She rolls her eyes and puts her hand on the door, ready to shut in his face.

He reaches out and she thinks it's to push his way through the door, but instead he places his hand on her forehead. "Well. You feel hot," he tells her stepping inside. "Come on, let's get you back to bed."

Puck scoops her up gingerly in his arms and carries her back upstairs to her bedroom. He tucks her in and brings her orange juice and even more cold medicine.

"Just rest," he tells her. "I'll stay here with you."

"Sorry I ruined our night."

He smiles. "You didn't."

Glancing at the bedside table, she notices the corsage. "You actually brought a corsage."

"Yeah," he smirks.

"It's the wrong color," she tells him.

"I know."

---

When she's recovered, after a week, they get into a huge fight.

They're at his house, while his mom's at work and his sister's spending the night at a friend's house.

So, it's just the two of them, alone. It doesn't take long before they're making out on the couch. But when it gets too cramped with their bodies tangled together, Puck suggests they move upstairs to his bedroom. She tells him no.

"What the fuck, Rachel?" he hisses, frustrated.

And then it all kind of escalates from there. She calls him an insensitive jerk that only has one thing on his mind. He calls her uptight prude that needs to get over herself.

When they are done screaming at one another, their chests heaving as they try to catch their breath, he tells her calmly, "You know, it's never going to be perfect. Life isn't perfect."

She storms out without another word.

---

Three days later, he shows up on her front porch with a candle he stole from his mom and a flower he picked from her front yard.

"I'm sorry. It should be everything you wanted it to be."

"No, you're right, it's not going to be perfect. You know what I've learned?"

"Huh?"

"It doesn't have to be perfect to be right."

She pulls him into her for a kiss. "My dad's are away on business," she whispers against his mouth.

He offers her up the supplies he brought with him. "I know. I thought I'd try to make it as perfect as I could."

---

Rachel cries when he enters her the first time.

He whispers sweet things into her ear, wipes her tears away with his thumb, and moves as slowly as he can.

It's not at all how she imagined it would be.

She expected it to hurt (it did) and she knew it wouldn't be as gratifying to her the first time around (it wasn't) but the connection she feels with him is beyond anything and she knows she made the right choice with Puck (especially because after he comes inside of her, he does everything in his power to make sure she does the same and employs his tongue and fingers to do the job).

And when they lay in a boneless heap on her bed, he pulls her against him and whispers "I love you" and Rachel doesn't think anything could ever be more perfect.

---


End file.
